Even if we’re secretly Martians.

If you defend nazis and their right to incite violence and terror you are not my friend. If you defend the so called alt right and the kkk and say not all x or all lives matter you are not my friend.

You are not the friend of my family, of my friends, of my neighbours and coworkers and acquaintances. We deserve to live in safety. To feel safe walking down the street or in the checkout line. It doesn’t matter the colour of our skin, sexual orientation, religion or lack thereof, gender identity, or if we’re secretly Martians or purple people eaters.

Just don’t be a gods damned nazi. There is no good excuse for fascism.

As someone much smarter than I said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke.

The violence that occurred today is unfortunately nothing new. But it is still horrific and it isn’t going to go away with apologism and excuses and pandering.

And if you’re not my friend. If you don’t value our safety and our lives and our liberty. You can show yourselves the door.

This was originally posted on Facebook, but I feel that it is important to post here as well. Facebook is a frequently ephemeral medium outside of my control and this is important. Fuck nazis.

Even if we’re secretly Martians.

Up and coming this weekend!

This weekend, I will be at Old Fort MacArthur Days! It’s a brilliant living history event, and if you’re in southern California and like that sort of thing, I highly encourage you to go check it out. I participate with Clan MacColin, which is the same group I’ve belonged to at faire for years (okay, and by years I mean since I was born).

Anyway, that’s pretty much that. I hope everyone is doing well, and I’m off to go do the thing!

Up and coming this weekend!

Nine years later.

This post is expanded from some musings that I put on Twitter earlier, some conversations I’ve been having on Facebook, and thoughts that have been bouncing around my head. Content warning for frank discussion of suicide and grief, and other things.

A list of suicide crisis lines better than any one I could put together can be found here on Wikipedia. Not only are there phone numbers, but there are internet based text chat support, and there are text lines. If you’re hurting, please reach out to someone, be it a help line, a therapist, a friend, or a family member.

(And by the way, if you’re my mother? Please do NOT read this post. I’ve included a read more tag to make it really easy to skip over.)

Continue reading “Nine years later.”

Nine years later.

Up and coming this weekend!

This weekend I will be at FOGcon, which is a wonderful literary and things convention up in Walnut Creek. I have been several times in the past and always thoroughly enjoy it.

This year I will once again be on panels, as well. I’m definitely excited although it comes with the standard helping of imposter syndrome and feeling as if I am unqualified to be at the front of a room speaking about these things. Even when I know that’s untrue, and one of the best ways that I’ve found to conquer this particular version of imposter syndrome is by actually doing the thing that’s making me anxious. Damn brainweasels always getting into everything… Saturday evening will be When It’s Friends who are Hurting You and on Sunday morning I will be on Ancient Myths and Modern Culture.

In any case, now it’s time for me to shut my computer down so that I can pack it into my backpack. Even when the trip is just a few hundred miles across California in my own car, I enjoy getting the chance to hit the road.

Oh, and for those of you who already know me: my hair is teal now.

Up and coming this weekend!

Self-care and moving forward.

With the inauguration of a man who is not my president, who does not and will never stand for me or any of the communities I belong to, right around the corner and drawing nearer, I think it’s important to talk for a minute about self-care. To talk about taking care of ourselves so that we can get through this, so that we can survive this, so that we can resist.

I know that many of my friends and other people I talk to on Twitter are talking about feeling hopeless.

Feeling anxious.

Feeling angry.

And at the same time, our daily lives don’t stop. We still have to go to work, we have to interact with other people, and we cannot just curl into an introspective ball. The policies that are threatened are too real for that.

What we can do, though, is take care of ourselves and be gentle with ourselves when we need it most. This can take many forms, which have been documented time and time again on the internet, but I thought I’d throw a few of them out here for everyone to take with you into your day. (If none of my suggestions strike a chord, do a Google search for self-care! There are a billion and one lists out there and one of them is bound to have something. Plus, the time spent looking at it is a few minutes spent not actively beating ourselves up.)

Curl up with a blanket and a hot drink. The comfort factor is real. A blanket (or two or three or four depending upon), and a warm cup of your favourite tea can help bring you into the moment and be grounded.

Take a bath or a hot shower. Wash away at least the current moment’s worries, and a hot bath or shower also helps to relax some of the tension that settles into our bodies and can cause physical pain.

Walk, hike, get outdoors. I know that this one isn’t possible for everyone due to varying physical health, but sometimes what helps most is a slight change of scenery and some fresh air. Anything from going outside to your porch, to going on a five hour or five day hike through nature. Our planet is important, and I use it as a reminder that we belong to the Earth and we are obligated to fight for her in whatever way that we can.

Do something on your to-do list. It sounds somewhat counterintuitive, but if I’m struggling with something else, I often find that I can take some pride and accomplishment in getting a lurking task from my to-do list done. Sometimes this is the dishes, or the laundry, sometimes it’s just putting something out to be mailed the next day. Whatever that task I get done, though, it’s no longer hanging over my head and adding to the black cloud of worry.

Ask for help. While it can be really very tempting to tough it out alone, we are stronger together.

It’s okay to ask for help, whether that means reaching out to your social media networks and asking for people to say some nice things to you, or whether that means calling a counselor or therapist or clergy member and setting up a time to sit down and talk. None of this invalidates the struggle that you are going through, nor does it make you weak.

And finally,

Be gentle to yourself, if you can. The negative voices are real, and they significant, and they are hard to deal with. And saying “be gentle to yourself” doesn’t magically make anxiety or depression go away or be less horrible. But find the little thing that makes a big difference to you, and do it.

Self-care and moving forward.